Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
