Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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