I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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