Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you inspire me to be a worse person
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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