He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
