You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize