oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
