Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
