he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
