i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
