I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
