ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
