awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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