maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
