oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
