just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
