i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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