DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
