between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
