what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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