Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize