like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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