The maid of honor just puked.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I have aggressive nipples.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
