Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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