just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can you bring me the toilet please
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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