You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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