I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
