so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
