you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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