Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
