someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
