I think I died a long time ago.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
