Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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