is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
