I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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