My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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