walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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