for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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