she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
