i think i have two assholes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
