My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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