eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
