I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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