Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
