Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
