i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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