Do vagina's smell?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
