hotel room ftw
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
