Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
