So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
