I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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