Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
