just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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