I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
