Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
