That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
