Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Bring me that man meat
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
