check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
